Thursday, April 23, 2009
For Christmas my Grandfather bought me a compass, yes a compass! To go in my car. It sits on my dash board so I know which direction I am going. On Boxing Day he sat with me in my car lining up the poles and checking that my new acquisition was telling the truth.My Grandfather was the most selfless person I know.
In my whole life I cannot ever remember him doing anything for himself. He would always be busy finding something out, working something out, building something -he practically changed the entire floor plan of my Grandparent's house on my Grandmother's command! Until last year aged 88 he would be up my parent's apple tree for the yearly apple harvest, and he made the best bread! If someone needed something he would be there taking it to them or collecting it for them. At any frenzied family occasion with the house full, my mother baking, cleaning, organizing, my sister fussing with my nephew. My nephew enjoying the new concept of a wooden spoons, pots, pans and LOUD noise! My Grandmother demanding she tell you about some area of interest in the Cotswolds. My Brother-in-law playing with Sammy's (the afore mentioned nephew) toys or watching the Simpsons (he is actually a very smart guy, I think he is trying to disguise he intellect!) and my father playing his Guitar surrounded by the guitar owners compulsory Eric Clapton/ Beatles song books. My Grandfather would be the calm in the middle of the storm. He would never ask for anything, the washing up would be done and put away before you could blink, you would turn around and anything that needed fixing would be fixed. He would often come out with an interesting fact about something you were doing or looking at, in a 'just in case you wanted to know' way which, for a moment, would remind you of all the things he has quietly done throughout his life. If you mentioned you were interested in something he would unassumingly go away, research it and come back with loads of helpful information which would end up being the success of whatever task you were trying to complete.
He was gentle and kind, thoughtful, caring, considerate, practical and productive. A true gentleman at all times, and was the only person in the world I could describe as Stoic. He was always busy completing a job, and making sure it was done properly. Everything he did, he did wholeheartedly, properly and with true care. His life took him to many different places but he made sure he got the best of all those places and that they got his best too.
So yesterday, sitting in my car, I realised that he had not left me with a piece of plastic that told me whether I was going North or South, but now, every time I am in my car it reminds me if my life is going in the direction I want? If I am the person I wanted to be? And if not, that I can change direction at any time and hopefully ensure I make a difference in the world in the same way he did.
I think you can buy 'car' compasses in Halfords and I highly recommend purchasing one.
Always make sure your life is going in the direction you want, whether in fitness, work, or any aspect of your world. And, if it isn't, with confidence, determination and excitement, change direction.
Jonny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
A shot rang out with a 'crack'.
Mommy, I was a good girl,
I did what I was told,
I went to school,
I got straight As',
I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said goodbye,
I'm sorry Mommy,
I had to go,
But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun,
He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny,
Got a gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend;
That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister;
That she is the only now,
And tell my dear sweet Grandmother;
I'll be waiting for her now,
And tell my wonderful friends;
That they always were the best,
Mommy, I'm not the first,
I'm no better then the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers;
I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this,
And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me?
No one deserves this, Mommy,
warn the others, Mommy,
I left without a kiss.
And Mommy, tell the doctors;
I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor,
Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying,
With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy, please remember,
I'm in heaven with the rest.
Mommy, I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack,
Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I won't be coming back.
I wanted to go to college,
I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy; On that trip to the zoo.
I wanted to get married,
I had goals for which I'd strive,
I wanted to be an actress,
Mommy, I wanted to be alive.
But Mommy, I must go now,
The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my boyfriend,
I'm sorry, but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy,
I always have,I know;
you know it's true,
and Mommy all I wanted to say is,"Mommy, I love you"
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
It has been a long time since u held me so close to u.But this time, there is no sense of happiness.
In fact, it was a sense of sorrow.
When u said those words, my heart just sank completely and a lump was stuck in my throat.
I was trying hard to fight it back and to overcome it.
Finally, I broke down! I lost!
Then u cried too.
I was lost at that period of time.
I just felt that time should stop at that point of time.
I was completely utterly frightened!
What m I 2 do 2mrw when u leave?
I just can't survive.
I hoped things could be different!
I just hate this!
As u walked away and gave each of us a hug, I felt reluctant to let you go.
I just wanna grab onto u tightly and not let u leave.
That was the part I hated most!
I knew that we noe it.
I noe u r gonna miss us so much and u noe that we r gonna miss u so much.
As u walk away, tears began streaming down like waterfall.
It is too late to change any thing now.
When u called me from the airport, I dint bother to pick ur call cuz I did not want to stop u from leaving.
I just hope that u will be fine there.
If u r reading my blog, I have to say I miss u!
I seriously hope u can come back soon. >_<........
Take care!
May god bless u! :)
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Had been a long time since I last blogged. :)Started the day on a panicky note. Lol...
Early in the morning and yy,xq,mp and I were like going crazy solving the maths questions.
After all, maths test was ok...
Not as bad as I expected.
Peiqi was super funny.
Guess what he did?
We were supposed to draw a modulus graph and he drew a star.
Was lyk freaking funny. Hahax...
One more thing, Pq always sing when we have test.
Its lyk arghx...
Can't stand him.
Super humorous lar.
Oxy claims that he sings to relieve stress.
School ended, arranged tables 4 meet-the-parents session 2mrw then dance.
Dance was totally disastrous.
Seriously, when we were juniors and Maytze, yanning or weiying was our president, we really obeyed them.
But now our batch, Oh... What ever the president says is crap! How can that be? I think as juniors they should listen to the command given by the president.
Super Duper disrespectful lar.
WAD DO YOU THINK DANCE IS?
IF U COME FOR THE SAKE OF HAVING A CCA, THEN TELL U.
U OUGHT TO SCRAM OUT OF DANCE.
I THINK WE WONT EVEN WELCOME U HERE.
SERIOUSLY! YOU CAN FREAKING GET OUT OF DANCE CLUB IF U THINK THIS DANCE IS FREAKING LAME AND U THINK THAT U DUN WANNA DANCE WELL.
HU DO U THINK U R?
U WANNA COME 4 DANCE, U COME.
U DUN WANNA CUM THEN U PONE!
WADZ ALL THIS CRAP ABOUT MAN!
PLEASE LAR!
WAKE UP CAN?
ONLY 13 DAYS LEFT TO SYF!
WAD U GUYS THINK?
U GOT 13YEARS TO PREPARE?
DREAM ON! THEN I WILL WISH U ALL THE BEST.
ASK U GUYS GATHER ALSO WANNA REBEL!
VERY FUN TO REBEL MEH?
U ONLY MAKE ME THINK THAT U R N IDIOT AND AN OXYMOROON.
DUN UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF GATHER.
TO BE FRANK! I HATE PPL WHO REBEL.
U SHOULD NOE WHO U R!
ALL I CAN SAY IS PLEASE WAKE UP LAR.
HOW OLD ALR STILL WANNA REBEL.
I SERIOUSLY PITY THIS PPL WHO LURVES REBELLING.
U CAN SERIOUSLY DROP OUT OF DANCE.
GO C WHICH CCA WANT U!
Was damn pissed during dance 2dae.
Haiz... Shldn't say anymore.
2mrw is meet-the-parents session.
Woots! No school... But got loads of homework.
Arghx...
Btw, Marissa, get well soon. LOL... Marissa sprained her leg while dancing.
Take care sealion!
~JaNe~